What do Jared Leto and Dave Chapelle Have in Common?
... it's awkward...
Welcome to another installment of Linkpso, where I take a piece of content and use it as a springboard for creativity.
In an era where you have access to every word ever written, I’m so grateful you’ve chosen to read mine.
Hello Friends,
Like a lot of people, I came over to Substack during the pandemic. I was led here by Suleika Jaouad and her Isolation Journals. We don’t have time to get into all the ways I love this space, but if you like journaling and feeling deeply, I highly recommend her free Sunday Journal prompts.
This week was special because the Grammy winner and Suleika’s husband, Jon Batiste, was the guest essayist. He read his prompt with a smooth-as-butter Louisiana accent, talking about making a fool out of himself in front of Beyonce. Each time he said, “I've done fumigated the Queen,” I felt his cringe. I doubt, however, a man as cool as Jon Batiste could ever be as awkward as he thinks he was.
The story made me wonder how often famous people have to deal with the “glorious awkwardness” of us mere mortals. How many tearful handshakes has Beyoncé had? How many people have fallen to their knees meeting Taylor Swift? Most of their public lives may be dealing with glorious awkwardness.
Here’s a little bit of my own…
Santa Barbara is a beautiful place, 90 minutes north of Hollywood and all its movie stars, so we have no shortage of celebrity sightings.
I once saw Jared Leto at Natural Cafe on State Street in Santa Barbara. This was post My So Called Life, but nobody really knew he was in that band yet… so he was kind of famous to most of the world, but very famous to people who were in high school in the 90s
I very intentionally timed it so I would be walking into the restaurant while he was walking out. I said, “Are you Jared Leto?” He said yes and then stuffed his hands in his jeans like Jordan Catalano himself, and I actually swooned. “Oh, well, my friend says you were him, so I thought I'd ask…” Like he wouldn’t know he was Jared Leto if I didn’t tell him… Then I just looked at him with a goofy smile on my face while he shifted on his feet. Since I’m taller than he is and outweigh him by 20 lbs, and I was blocking the door, onlookers might have thought I was trying to trap this poor famous vegan. All he wanted to do was eat his tofu and rice and peace, and now I'm holding him hostage. Can I be forgiven for being 19 and still in love with Jordan Catalano and all his emotional unavailability? Maybe…
I shook myself out of my stupor and stepped to the side so he could pass. When I finally joined my friends at our table, they chastised me for being so awkward. They were right, but it was totally worth it.
After that, I learned to be cooler around celebrities. I served a turkey burger to Steve Martin without incident. Tennis player Lindsay Davenport was the first woman in a long time to make me feel small… I’m 5’11’, so that doesn’t happen very often, and I didn’t even mention it. Kobe Bryant brought his whole family in for dinner one night when we were having plumbing problems, and the entire front lobby smelled like a sewer. I served his medium-well filets like nothing was wrong (I can’t say the same for the bartender and kitchen staff… they fawned over him like a pack of girls at a New Kids On The Block concert)
I flew on a plane with Paul Walker twice and served him and his girlfriend rib-eye steaks… All separate occasions, he was very nice. Kevin Costner bought out our whole pastry case and tipped very well. Once, Dave Chappelle came in with his family. This was before his Netflix specials. There were a few students left studying for finals, and even though we were closing, no one wanted to leave until he did.
As Chapelle got up to leave, a kid yelled out, “Thank you, Mr Chapelle,” and he responded, “You’re welcome, guys.” I wondered what the kid thought he was doing when he said that. What was he thanking him for? Being funny? Did he figure he would never have a chance like this again, and couldn’t think of anything better to say, but decided to go for it anyway… He looked to be around 19 years old… I couldn’t judge… but I could relate.
This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.
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I haven’t had too many celebrity encounters, but I feel like I operate in “glorious awkwardness” so much of the time anyway! Thanks for the heads up on these Sunday prompts - I need some new juice..!