The Last Good Peach
Signs of the end of a bossy season
Hello Friends,
Today, I may have eaten my last good peach of the season. It wasn’t July good, but it was still good.
It’s October, and I shouldn’t even be trying, but I live in Southern California, and I’m spoiled by produce.
I see those crates stacked chest-high at Costco, and like Pavlov’s dogs, I start salivating. I can’t stop myself from putting one in my cart despite the risk. There could be mold lurking inside, they could be completely dried out, or they could be too firm and never ripen.
But sometimes, I time it just right, and I can hold on to the taste of summer for just a bit longer. Not knowing and still trying anyway is the purest form of optimism.
You never know when you will have the last of something you love. The last kiss before a breakup, the last phone call your relative with Alzheimer's knows your name, the last time your child takes a nap, calls you Mommy, the last time you hold them in your arms.
Some lasts go unnoticed, and some take your breath away.
After Aiden died, a family friend asked, “If God came to you and told you what would happen, you would do it again, wouldn’t you?”
He wanted me to say “YES! Of course, I would do it all again.” But I couldn’t. Instead, I said, “That’s why God doesn’t ask first.”
If I knew I was about to eat my last good peach of the season, I might have savored it, but more likely, I would have made myself sick eating as many as I could.
If I knew my son would die, I would have gone mad trying to save him.
I don’t believe God’s Will gave my son brain cancer. I don’t think God has that kind of power. But I do think He knew it would happen and held me up when I could not stand on my own.
I don’t know what any of this has to do with the last good peach of the season. Maybe I’m talking about carpe diem, but I’m not really a seize-the-day kind of person.
So maybe it’s about noticing the small moments? Maybe it’s accepting when things are over? Maybe it’s about being present?
Or, maybe it’s about not knowing and moving forward anyway… despite the risk, despite the fear, because the experience is what makes us human.
Yes, that last one… That’s it.
This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.
xoxo,
Emily
A poem… of sorts.
Read This Week
Us Against You by Fredrik Backman
The first book to make me cry in a long time.
In Beartown Backman showed how well he writes teenagers, here he writes love and marriage in such an authentic way that makes me want to be a better partner. (more)
What are you reading?
Links to Ponder
A bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils (Previously On…)
A poem (Fossilised Flowers)
The magic of preteens. “The bigger you get, the more fun we have together.'” (Cup of Jo)
Rest is productive (Elyse Myers)
Love me some fall soups (Washington Post)
What will friends do? (On the Way Home)
Learning to cook for two (Motherwell)
Finding rest as you wander. Content with an unremarkable life (New York Times)
Pound cake with apples. Yum! (Cup of Jo)
To be in the driver’s seat of your own life. Stories from our mothers (Dear Sugar)
If you only have time for one thing… When everyone else is a grump, keep a sunshine file (Humans of Ney York)
Your Journal Prompt for Today
Post your response in the comments below or tag me on Instagram @emilykathleenwrites