Hello Friends,
My apologies for missing last week; I had nothing to say and didn’t want to bore you with my ramblings.
Then very early this morning, as I was rolling my hugely pregnant belly over for the hundredth time, the words came.
THANK YOU
A friend texted me in the middle of the night. She got some distressing news about the health of one of her children and asked if we could talk in the morning. I called her as soon as I dropped off the kids.
The news wasn’t good.
We connected on a level we both never wanted to understand. I was grateful she called, if only to give me the opportunity to thank her for all she did for us when Aiden was sick.
Of course, I said thank you back then, but it didn’t seem like enough at the time.
Sometime during Aiden’s sickness, I came to hate the words thank you. They seemed trite compared to what I was asking for; they fell hollow against what I was grateful for.
I used the same words for the barista at a coffee shop as I used for the surgeon I hoped would save my son’s life.
“Thank you” seemed to mock my pain, and I often wished there was a bigger word for what I felt.
In talking with my friend, I could hear the same trepidation in her voice I had. She struggled to ask for help. She doesn’t want to be a burden. She worried she might be triggering my grief over Aiden. I stopped her and told her I was honored she reached out.
I hope I gave her sound advice. I hope she felt heard and carried in her time of uncertainty.
I know I didn’t say all the right things. At one point, I said, “I can’t even imagine,” and we both laughed because, of course, I can imagine.
After I got off the phone, I offered up the prayer “thank you,” and I hoped she felt it.
These words could be filler in conversation used more out of custom than genuine gratitude, or they could be the most powerful words in the English language. I choose the latter.
This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.
xoxo,
Emily
Your Journal Prompt for Today
Post your response in the comments below or tag me on Instagram @emilykathleenwrites
On the Blog & Elsewhere
Last year, I published an essay for HuffPost, and this week, it was re-published on one of my favorite writing podcasts, Writing Class Radio.
It’s about an Easy Button Nick gave me for Christmas, with a recording of Aiden playing with his siblings. I’m so hugely pregnant that I get winded easily and was self-conscious about how the recording would sound. I think it made me slow down as I read, and it came out more emotional.
I think this is some of the best writing I’ve ever done, and even though I know every word, I still found myself tearing up as I listened. I was reminded that “life isn’t easy, but in a good way.”
Read This Week
Finlay Donovan is Killing It by Elle Cosimano
I enjoyed the level of coziness in this domestic mystery. There was just enough thrill and dead bodies without gore or nightmares, which is exactly what I needed this week. (more)
A Very Merry Bromance by Lissa Kay Adams
Gawd! This is the kind of book that makes me want to know if the author cheers out loud for her characters as she writes them! The plot is so layered and beyond what anyone who doesn't know and appreciate the genre (I include myself here). All the tropes are there. You know what will happen, but instead of being predictable, it is so so so satisfying. (more)
The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander
It helps to go into this book knowing that Elizabeth Alexander is a poet and this is not a traditional narrative memoir. Alexander set out to write a love story, and I think she did that. (more)
Five Tuesdays in Winter by Lilly King
“A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.” ― David Sedaris
This collection of short stories did precisely what I want from all short stories: to feel a little off-kilter at the last line. (more)
What are you reading?
Links to Ponder
JFK talked to Santa and said he was fine (Letters of Note)
My daughter always asks me what she can do in the oddest amounts of time. Here are 36 things you can achieve in two minutes (BeWrit)
A Sunday in Los Angeles with Roxane Gay (Los Angeles Times)
“You good?” The only acceptable response to a stranger crying (Hell Gate)
Proud to be a slow reader (The Guardian)
100 tiny words of love (New York Times)
How to not get murdered in an English manor house
Chris Farley, and grief (Catapult)
Hello, Dolly!!
The unmentionable stage of mourning, relief (Washington Post)
“I didn’t want to change the world; I just wanted to cook.” California cooking with Sally Schmitt (New York Times, Op-Docs)
13 strangers in a van (Washington Post)
If you only have time for one thing… The perfect gift to remind your loved one to “Keep Moving Forward” Proceeds are gifted in Aiden’s name to the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation (NeverGiveUp.org)
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