Hello Friends,
Lately, I’ve been thinking about rituals.
I was raised Catholic, so my first experience with rituals was at church. Sunday mass is a predictable rhythm of prayers, songs, and readings. We stand, sit, and kneel. The Priest reads the same prayers while he prepares communion and ends each service the same way.
If you had asked me then, I would have told you it was boring, but if I were being honest, I would have said it was comforting. The repeated action allowed me to drop into a quiet place in my mind and be more open to the experience.
Years later, in the rooms of AA, I have that same experience. The secretary reads the preamble, and like Pavlov’s dogs, my heart and mind are triggered to listen. When I listen, I have a better chance of staying sober that day.
I’ve developed so many rituals over the years. Some are deeply profound, like a daily meditation practice or going for a long run to process the grief of losing Aiden. But many are simple, like applying lotion after a shower, lighting a candle after I clean the house, or saying goodbye to Aiden’s ashes before we go out of town.
My rituals seem to develop first as a habit, something I do over and over, like having the same bowl of oatmeal every day for months. But sometimes, the habit takes on meaning, and simple things turn into invitations to be present, like going for a run before I sit down to write.
Some rituals come and go, like how I used to make guacamole on Fridays during the pandemic, and some I’ve kept up for more than a decade, like the alarms I set to go off at 9 a.m. and 3 p.m. to remind me I am enough.
I never worry if I’m doing it right or enough. I just do what serves me.
This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.
xoxo,
Emily
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This Week on the Blog
Back when the pandemic was new. After we realized it would last longer than a few weeks, but well before the vaccine, I fell into a few routines. Over time my routines started to take on the feeling of a ritual.
On Fridays, I made guacamole.
Links to Ponder
A beautiful rendition of “Ave Maria” from my favorite stairwell singers (Kings Return)
Trader Joe’s Knockoffs Vs Original Brands. Which is Better? (Cup of Jo)
I Moved to a Remote Cabin to Write and I Hate It (Outside)
Before Bingeing on Hallmark Holiday Movies Please Agree to These Terms (McSweeney’s)
Recommendations for Festive Holiday Fiction (Modern Mrs. Darcy)
The Abortion I Didn’t Have (New York Times)
My Dying Brother Made Me Promise To Keep His Secret. Did I Make The Wrong Choice? (HuffPost Personal)
Slumber Party in an Ikea (The Guardian)
Rob Deleney and the importance of caring people when your child has cancer (iNews UK)
A teacher wonder if her students will ever know a world without school shootings? (New York Times)
What are you reading or listening to this week? What have you created that wasn’t there before? Post your response in the comments below or tag me on Instagram @emilykathleenwrites