Pancakes for the table
thoughts on friendship
Hello Friends,
On a hungover morning in my early twenties I met up with a friend and her roommate for breakfast. My brain was as scrambled as the eggs I was about to order so when the server asked me what I’d like to drink it would have been faster to just say one of everything.
Iced tea for the headache, Sprite for the upset stomach, apple juice because it sounded good, and water because, well, obviously.
I poured over the menu, searching for something greasy to soak up the mistakes in my gut.
I needed eggs and bacon for sure, some cheese, and can I have avocado somewhere in there too?
and something else… I’m sure the server rolled her eyes, I would have.
The roommate leaned forward and whispered, “Should we get some pancakes for the table?”
It was the answer to my hungover breakfast dilemma, should I go savory or sweet?
“Yes.” I said, “We should absolutely get pancakes for the table!”
We ate and laughed about the antics of the night before.
We gossiped about who got caught kissing who? Who made it to the end of the night, and who got lost walking home? We talked about the cab driver and the cute bartender and the guy on the dance floor.
This is where inside jokes were born.
It was the kind of intimate connection I craved, but didn’t quite know how to cultivate.
Most of my relationships sat on the surface. They were more transactional and based on convenience. I neither asked for, nor gave too much.
I didn’t know it at the time, but these two women I was sharing a plate of pancakes with would become my most valued friendships.
Over the next two decades we laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed. They became the healthy relationships I have always wanted, devoid of expectation and accounting.
This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.
xoxo,
Emily
Read This Week
Silver Sparrow by Tayari Jones
I love getting lost in a beautifully written story, and this one did not disappoint. But it did leave me with so many questions, and I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words. (more)
What are you reading?
Links to Ponder
I am 100% Team Candy Corn! (USA Today)
A 200-mile trail relay? (Washington Post) I have officially reached the point in my pregnancy where I start planning all of the things I want to do when I’m not pregnant.
How to buy art (Washington Post)
Can it be possible to look forward to the teen years? (Washington Post)
Cartoons to make you think (Liana’s Newsletter)
What I think people think of me when I read in public (The New Yorker)
A letter from your enchanted self (Lonely Victories)
How many kids do you have? (Cup of Jo)
Picture Day (Motherwell)
Introverts and resentment (Introvert, Dear)
Writing is akin to reverse engineering a meal out of rotten food (Austin Kleon)
“Take care of yourself,” but how? (Evil Witches)
Sometimes justice is served, even if it is 23 years later (Baltimore Sun) or 26 years later (SLO Tribune)
When the truth makes you cry (Coffee + Crumbs)
If you only have time for one thing… Read this sweet story of a daughter growing up and a mother letting it happen (River Teeth)
Your Journal Prompt for Today
Post your response in the comments below or tag me on Instagram @emilykathleenwrites