I Love Crying

In all varieties; happy, sad, ugly

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Hello Friends,

My best friend got married this week— two/ twenty-two/ twenty-two; also, it was a Tuesday. I will remember this for the rest of my life.

Aiden’s birthday hit me harder than expected; it always does. I try and present myself as this evolved grieving mother who feels her feelings, but I stuff the pain down just as much as anyone.

It’s a predictable cycle. Something triggers my grief, I talk myself out of being sad, then I get grumpy with the kids or pick a fight with my husband, and finally, I allow grief to settle in and have a good cry.

I shared this at brunch with the bride-to-be and a few of the women in the wedding party. Then one of them said, “I love to cry.” And it hit me that I have never regretted a good, snotty, ugly cry. I always feel better, like after a long run or sex. It is one of the few things that tires my monkey mind enough to see the next right step.

On the day of the wedding, I stood next to my friend on the bow of their boat parked in the Santa Barbara harbor freezing my butt off. The wind was ice cold. There were dark ominous clouds in the sky and her veil flew off her intricately braided head more than once.

But just as they finished their vows, the clouds parted and a rainbow appeared behind the happy couple.

I love crying.

This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.

xoxo,

Emily

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Read This Week

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Joan Didion is an alien and I mean that in the best possible way.

This memoir is so perfectly crafted and in a voice that is all Didion. The story is an attempt to deconstruct the night her husband died unexpectedly from a heart attack. She is part detective, part journalist. The stream of conscious prose had me lost, yet it was all so logical. (more)

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Links to Ponder

“One reason that we are still chasing “firsts” is because too many of our accomplishments have been stolen from us.” Black History Month should be about correction (New York Times)

Me too Britney (Britney Spears)

“To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.” Notes from the greatest commencement address of all time. (Pocket)

Grief in Translation (Piegon Pages)

Existential questions in The Terminator “What if motherhood is what gives Sarah Connor the drive to fight for the future of the human race?” (Lit Hub)

Cereal never lets you down (Scary Mommy)

I can only aspire to write such reflective in interesting book and movie reviews (Mohnish’s Discovery Magazine)

A cartoon about acne. I can relate. (Cup of Jo)

Fog in San Fransisco (Colassal)

I listen to this and this when I miss my son and need a good cry. (YouTube)

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What are you reading or listening to this week? What have you created that wasn’t there before? Post your response in the comments below or tag me on Instagram @emilykathleenwrites