Good Stuff for your Weekend
Vol 18
Some Good Stuff… One REALLY good link and a bunch of books
But first, some wisdom…
The real measure of any time management technique is whether or not it helps you neglect the right things.” ~ Oliver Burkeman
The queens of passionate nuance over at Pantsuit Politics are hosting a 10-week retrospective on their 10 years of podcasting, covering the crazy world of U.S. politics and life. When they first announced this mini-series, I thought it would just be a compilation of clips from old episodes… Boy, was I wrong!
Each week, they go through the major news stories of the year. They talk about what they got right and, more importantly, what they got wrong.
This week’s episode covered 2018.
This was the year that gave us the Parkland shooting, the killing of American journalist Jamal Khashoggi by the Saudi Arabian government, the Kavanaugh hearings, and the #MeToo movement.
“I mostly remember therapy from 2018. That's what I remember about 2018.” ~ Beth Silvers
By the end of the episode, I was in tears.
During the discussion on the Kavanaugh hearings, Sarah reads from a blog post she wrote in 2016.
“You see I realized something as I watched people defend this man’s vile heinous language. I realized why I had been passionately fighting with my own family about rape culture over the past few months.
Because when you say “boys will be boys”, you mean my boys.
You’re implying there is something dark and carnal lurking deep inside my little boys. The ones I cuddle and hold tight. The ones who hold my heart in their grubby little hands as they run and jump and smile wildly up at me. “I love you, Mommy.”
You’re saying that they will grow up and become men and become capable of taking something that does not belong to them, of breaking it, of destroying it.
I am capable of accepting a lot of things about motherhood. I am capable of facing the vulnerability inherent in this endeavor. I can face the lack of control. I can face the frustration and the bittersweet grief. I can even face the inherent risk of losing them forever.
But I cannot and will not accept that deep in their core lurks a rapist.
Of course, there is another underlying presumption when people say “boys will be boys” – when you blame the victim for the fact that she was drinking or flirting or being sexual.
It’s that the boys aren’t dark and sinister for taking because you can’t take what already belongs to you.
I’ve seen it a million times in men who look at me and comment on how I look or how I walk or how I act. You can hear it dripping in every word Donald Trump says on that tape.
You are here for my enjoyment. You have no value outside of what I assign to you.”
Read the full blog post here…
Opinion journalists make their money off false certainty, and I’m always skeptical when someone seems so sure of an outcome, only to say something like, “I’ve always said…” the moment things change.
I’d love to see more content creators taking a look back at old takes. Maybe we’d learn more from our mistakes.
Recent Reads
Dear Fahrenheit 451: Love and Heartbreak in the Stacks by Annie Spence
I wish I had found reading sooner in life,
I wish I had kept better track of the books I read in my 20s,
I should have been a librarian.
The Dreamt Land: Chasing Water and Dust Across California by Mark Arax
Quite possibly the most interesting piece of non-fiction I've ever read, and not just because I'm from The Valley (though I loved hearing the tiny speck on a map towns I remember driving through as a kid) I can only hope that when I finally sit down to tell a story of where I'm from I can come this close to actually being there.
"It quit raining in my valley five years ago. The tule fog and frost quit too. You might think this is odd, but it isn't. Drought is California; flood is California. The lie is the normal."
Arax beautifully captures the hard-fought life of the people and the land of the Valley, and I feel so lucky to have stumbled across his work.
The audio was exceptional.
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
I'm glad I took another trip through these ideas. This time, I listened to the audio while reading along on the page, and I got more out of the experience that way. The repetition and convenient anecdotes were still annoying, but less so because I could take notes of the good stuff while Burkeman kept talking. Also, I think I'm just better at filtering through the BS in a self-help book than I was when I first read this.
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
If there were a 12-step for creativity, this would be The Big Book. I've been re-reading this book for years, and it still hits. The unbelievably and overly convenient anecdotes will always be annoying, but easy to skim.
This time through I focused more on the weekly tasks, and found them very generative.
Three main points:
- Moring Pages
- Artist Dates
- You are worthy
The Paper Palace by Miranda Cowley Heller
I liked this story, but dang, some tough things happen to these people, and the author doesn't allow them to experience one moment of grace. Good, easy writing. The end left me thinking, "What was all this for?" but overall, it was a worthwhile way to spend my time.
In case you missed it
Don’t worry, you didn’t. I’m finally getting my summer legs under me, and I’ve started writing again, so stay tuned.
The Bittersweet Weekly is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support this work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.