Forever Young
or 633 days old
Hello Friends,
Yesterday was Aiden’s birthday. He would have turned 4 but in my mind, he will always be in that sweet spot between baby and toddler. He will always be on the verge of walking. He will always have that handful of words, not quite stringing them together yet. He will forever have those fine blond curls and dimples on his knuckles.
When I see a four-year-old I don’t think of Aiden, but my heart stings a little when I see an 18-month-old, the age Aiden was before cancer.
Yesterday was bittersweet. Nick stayed home from work. We talked and cried and wished it had all been a bad dream. But there were sweet moments too.
Each year on Aiden’s birthday we’ve had dinner delivered to the staff on the 4th floor at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. Last night one of our favorite nurses send me a message on Instagram to say thank you.
While we ate ice cream cake from Baskin Robins we talked about our favorite memories of Aiden. We talked about the time Peyton brought him for show and tell in kindergarten and Owen said, “I just miss playing with him.”
We found a few green orbs in our pictures, a sign Aiden is always with us.
It was just a normal day, some joy, some sadness. Except, without him, “normal” will never feel quite right.
This is where I am today. Thank you for listening.
xoxo
Emily
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Read This Week
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed
FINALLY ticking this one off my TBR and just in time. I couldn’t help but reflect on my own journey through grief while running every street in Santa Barbara.
Overall, I really enjoyed this book. Some parts were absolutely heartbreaking. The scene with the horse killed me. The descriptions of her dreams with her mother felt so true as I have had those dreams too. (more)
Links to Ponder
“We Were Wrong” (Seth Godin)
Roxane Gay talks pottery, pott, and writing with Seth Rogan (The Roxane Gay Agenda)
Bucking the great resignation (Oldster)
The true cost of cheap chicken (The New York Times)
When you finally get some time alone the choices are overwhelming (River Teeth)
A podcast about movies and feelings breaks down one of my favorite movies of all time, Pump Up the Volume (You Are Good Podcast)
The Power of a Good Cry (The New York Times)
A beautiful way to look at middle age (Mindful Kindful YOUniversity)
From the producers of Serial comes The Trojan Horse Affair. A strange letter appears outlining a plot by Islamic extremists to infiltrate UK schools. This is an engrossing story of the damage we cause when blinded by bias.
A whole podcast about fruit! This one is about persimmons (Fruit Love Letters Podcast)
What are you reading or listening to this week? What have you created that wasn’t there before? Post your response in the comments below or tag me on Instagram @emilykathleenwrites